The staff are terribly helpful at Parkes Hotel. Just trying to book a room on the phone, I spent ten minutes chatting about the place with the receptionist. She didn’t mention that traces of polonium had been found there during the investigation into the poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko, or that the hotel had come top of TripAdvisor’s pick of London hotels. (I think the two events are unrelated.)

However, she told me that the hotel is owned by Swedes, so I imagined a pine interior, blondes in black glasses and every meal accompanied by aquavit, herring and Kalles Kaviar. It was a bit of a shock to step into an oak-panelled reception area and find not a blonde in sight.

Instead a charming, dark-haired man showed me up to the fifth floor. When I asked whether there was internet access in my room, he said it was “whiffy”. That may be, I replied, but is there internet access? I eventually discovered that he was French and was telling me that there was wi-fi. Very fast and effective it was, too, and free.

The room was great. A good size, larger than most Parisian apartments, with a big bed, sofa and chairs, and even a separate dressing room. Sensible colours, blue carpet and light gold wallpaper, covered in squiggles that were entirely acceptable. The bathroom was marble, with a heated floor that was a pleasure to stand on while brushing your teeth. And the location in Beaufort Gardens means that you are a short stroll away from the V&A and Harrods.

As for the breakfast, I had no idea that the Swedes were so good at poaching eggs. Add to that proper Greek yoghurt, a fruit salad, toast and coffee, and I would say that this is one of the finest breakfasts I have had at a London hotel.

Dinner was equally good. Parkes is close to a number of good restaurants and will organise quality takeaways. You can order pizza from 752, Chinese from the Good Earth Restaurant, Thai from Patara or, as I did, Lebanese food from Maroush. The hoummos, tabbouleh and kibbi were outstanding and came in a wicker hamper, complete with plates, cutlery and linen napkins.

During my stay at Parkes I was constantly being reminded of the Berkeley Hotel, for which there can be no finer praise in my book. Parkes is a smaller and less flashy younger brother. Less obviously good-looking, but quieter and possibly even better company.

Bottom line: Rupert Wright paid £277. Breakfast was £17.50.

Need to know: Parkes Hotel (020-7581 9944, www.parkeshotel.com), 41 Beaufort Gardens, London SW3.

Sampling the fare: Breakfast was outstanding. Dinner from Maroush, with a couple of beers and a bottle of wine, was excellent and cost £108.52 for two.

Access all areas: No.

Best thing: The staff.

Worst thing: The chance of running into earnest American website reviewers or radioactive Russian spies.

Room: 9 out of 10.

Food: 8 out of 10.

Service: 8 out of 10.

Value: 8 out of 10.

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