Enough with festivals the size of the Falklands. Enough of the endless
marketing and the toilets in association with T-Mobile. And enough with the
mass-produced botulism burgers you wouldn’t feed to a dying dictator.
Instead, here are a dozen of the UK’s finest boutique festivals – all catering
to no more than 5,000 people, all with a considerable nod towards green and
ethical living, and all a lot more fun than that Glasto lark, anyway.
1 BEACH BREAK LIVE Polzeath, Cornwall; June 9-12; 5,000 capacity
One of the best lineups of the summer has been attracted to a shindig that is
run primarily for students, near one of Britain’s best beaches. If you’re
not quite a student and are wondering if you could sneak in anyway, the
answer is probably – so long as you’re down with the kids. As a test, what
are the following: Does It Offend You, Yeah; Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly; Joe
Lean and the Jing Jang Jong; and Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip? If you
answered, “They’re all bands, you idiot,” then you should be fine. If not,
best leave ’em to their mud-wrestling, slippery slides, fruit golf and
ecofriendly hot tubs, in the grounds of Carruan Farm. All food, beer, water
and supplies are sourced from Cornwall, and surfing lessons, coasteering,
rock-climbing and kayaking are available. Tickets £79; www.beachbreaklive.com
2 BLISSFIELDS Matterley Bowl, Winchester; July 4-6; 5,000
Wood-fired pizzas, free-range chicken tikkas, handmade dairy ice cream, fresh
crepes, tempura prawns, whitebait boxes, organic foot-long sausages, organic
filter coffee and fresh smoothies – the bliss in Blissfields might seem to
refer primarily to the catering. But with a lineup including the return of
the Wonder Stuff, and Roni Size, as well as Lethal Bizzle, the Rumble
Strips, Infadels and more than 100 other acts, and a commitment to be carbon
neutral, there should be enough alternative action to find your own nirvana. Weekend
tickets £60, day tickets from £30; www.blissfields.co.uk
3 CHAGSTOCK Whiddon Down, Devon; July 11-12; 5,000
Just a few years ago, this was some friends and their kids playing some music
and having too many drinks in a back garden in Devon. As the word spread, so
did Chagstock’s ambition, and this year they have a licence for a few
thousand to join in at a site on Whiddon Down. Ella Edmondson – the
singer/songwriter daughter of Jennifer Saunders and Ade Edmondson – returns,
and Hothouse Flowers headline. There are crepes and curries, a kids’ area
with a pirate ship, and a very definite noncorporate sensibility. It’s run
on a not-for-profit basis: proceeds go to the Devon Air Ambulance trust and
Wateraid, as well as local youth charities. Tickets £35, day tickets from
£12.50; www.chagstock.info
4 TWO THOUSAND TREES Upcote Farm, Cheltenham; July 11-12; 2,500
As its name suggests, the aim here, along with goofing about in a field to
some fine music, is to promote green issues. Last year, TTT’s recycling rate
was 66%; this year, all food and drink will be served in reusable or
biodegradable packaging and will be locally sourced and organic, and all the
power and lighting will be produced using locally sourced biodiesel. All
very well and good, but is it fun? Well, over the two nights, Reuben, the
Duke Spirit (with the lovely Leila Moss), Art Brut and These New Puritans
will be performing, with more than 40 other acts, across three stages. Weekend
tickets £39; www.twothousandtreesfestival.co.uk
5 LOUNGE ON THE FARM Canterbury, Kent; July 11-13; 5,000
Now in its third year, LOTF is a local event on a grand scale. This is a
garden party run by the cool kids of the village, who just happen to know
bands like the Bees, Lightspeed Champion, Findlay Brown and Black Kids, and
DJs of the calibre of Jon Carter and Midfield General as well as Terry Hall
and Kevin Rowland. All the fruit and veg served are grown within a 20-mile
radius of the site at Merton Farm, near Canterbury; the booze comes from
local breweries, with cider from Rick Stein Food Hero Pawley Farm, and ale
from Kent’s own Hopdaemon brewery; and even the pigs on the hog roast are
hand-reared. Weekend tickets £65; www.loungeonthefarm.co.uk
6 BUDDHAFIELD Taunton, Somerset; July 16-20; 3,000
“Are you sure?” you cry. “A festival without alcohol, or drugs, or even –
whisper it – dogs?” But yes, as its name might suggest, Buddhafield isn’t
your normal bunch of loons, sorted for Es and whizz and standing in a field
with 20,000 others. Though there is a field, it is largely filled with those
seeking enlightenment – or at the very least a weekend off – via Buddhism,
meditation, healing, yoga, chanting, fancy dress, workshops and music. Weekend
tickets £88; www.buddhafield.com
7 FURNESSFEST Hawcoat, Cumbria; July 18-20; 2,500
Brand new for this year, Furnessfest has been established to give local talent
a chance to shine next to more established names, so Californian surf punks
OPM will play alongside the excellent Aim (aka local boy and downbeat
hip-hop master Andy Turner). The setting is lovely, overlooking the sea at
Sinkfall Farm, Barrow-in-Furness is only a few miles away, and there are
various workshops, children’s activities and five-a-side football to keep
you from the bars. Weekend tickets £50; www.furnessfest.co.uk
8 STANDON CALLING Ware, Hertfordshire; August 1-3; 2,000
A tiddler compared to some, but punching well above its weight, Standon
Calling boasts Super Furry Animals, Mystery Jets, Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius
Pip and Late of the Pier. It all kicks off at midday on Friday in the
grounds of a 16th-century manor house: guests can splash in the outdoor pool
and explore this year’s Japanese theme while availing themselves of the
numerous bars and stages. All the packaging sold here is fully
biodegradable, and there are regular litter patrols, posh loos and camping
alternatives for those who are tent-averse – not least the Japanese-themed
One Night Standon Love Hotel. Weekend tickets £89; www.standon-calling.com
9 SUMMER SUNDAE WEEKENDER Leicester; August 8-10; 5,000
A three-dayer with a belter of a lineup, the SSW will see Macy Gray, Mystery
Jets, Cold War Kids, King Creosote, Supergrass, Simian Mobile Disco, Roisin
Murphy and the Coral do their collective things across five stages at its De
Montford Hall site. But it’s not all about the noise – last year, the SSW
won a Greener Festival award for its carbon-neutral status, and many more
recycling initiatives will be in operation this year, including handing out
camera-film canisters for smokers to put their fag ends in. Weekend
tickets, £100; www.summersundae.com
10 SHAMBALA Northamptonshire; August 22-24; 2,500
These days, festival organisers have to provide so much more than a band and a
bar. So Shambala’s organisers are entertaining their guests before they even
arrive, with a guided 100-mile cycle trip from Bristol to the site as part
of a sustainable-transport initiative. If you’ve still got any energy left,
once you arrive at this anticorporate and family-friendly jamboree, now in
its ninth year, there’s a huge roller disco, a hot-tub village, nu-school
barn dancing and more than 100 bands playing on seven stages, as well as the
largest kids’ area outside Glastonbury, a cinema, arts, workshops, fancy
dress and cabaret. And there’s a pub selling organic ales and ciders. Tickets
£89; www.shambalafestival.org
11 END OF THE ROAD Larmer Tree Gardens, north Dorset; September 12-14;
5,000
Some people talk about putting on their own perfect festival. And other people
sell their house, move their family into rented accommodation and start
plotting what turns out to be End of the Road. Such commitment was shown by
painter and decorator Simon Taffe, who went part-time in order to set up
EOTR with a few other equally impassioned chums. And an accountant. Having
won the Best New Festival at the UK Festival Awards in 2006, its first year,
EOTR is upping the ante with a lineup that includes Mercury Rev, Baby Dee,
Conor Oberst, British Sea Power, Billy Childish, Calexico and Kurt Wagner
from Lambchop. There’s also a library in the woods, a healing retreat and
film and comedy tents. Weekend camping tickets £105; www.endoftheroadfestival.com
12 LOOPALLU Ullapool, Ross-shire; September 19-20; 2,500
Small, miles away from anywhere – the nearest big town is an hour away – and
almost certainly beset by some sort of dramatic weather during the weekend,
Loopallu still manages to attract a few thousand hardy revellers. Why?
Partly because “everyone is drunk all weekend” (according to the
organisers), partly because it’s held right in the middle of the village
(the population doubles in size during the festival, and locals profit
greatly from Loopalluists using the village amenities, stores and pubs) and
partly because last year they got Franz Ferdinand to play – and this year
they’re promising someone even bigger. And no, they wouldn’t tell me who. Or
give me a clue. Sorry. Weekend tickets £50; www.loopallu.co.uk
What about Feugh Fest....?
www.feughfest.com
Jayne Carmichael, aberdeen, uk
Y not Festival in Derbyshire will my boutique festival of choice. Mystery Jets headlining. Will be amazing, google for tickets etc.
Mark F, Manchester, UK
Those 12 sound pretty good, but I think I'll be going to paulc's festival instead. Do you have any dates for it, Paul?
SueB, Pontypridd, Wales
I'll be holding my own "festival" this year... lazing in the back of my 16 foot sailing cruiser moored on the River Avon playing my Ukulele with a nice long cool drink to hand and cool-bag full of cold beers... I'm trying to widen my repertoire so I can handle requests...
paulc, gloucester,