Joe Clay
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With the 2008-09 football season under way, for those of you wanting to replicate the glories (or failures) of your favourite teams but unwilling to actually kick a ball in anger, the internet has a solution. Football games in various shapes and forms can be found all over the internet. OK, so they’re nowhere near the quality of Pro Evolution Soccer or Fifa 09, but unless you are allowed to take your console into work, they’re the closest you’re going to get to playing football at your desk.
For an instantly gratifying fix, Robby Baggio’s Magical Kicks is hard to beat. You get to bend it like the ponytailed Buddhist genius, choosing the power, direction and the amount of swerve in order to get the ball past the wall and the despairing lunge of the keeper. It’s so simple to play and thoroughly addictive.
If you’ve got a bit more time on your hands, Jumpers for Goalposts is the game for you. Starting out as an amateur, over the course of ten years (not literally!) you score goals and train and work your way up the ranks, juggling a busy social life and even choosing what car you drive. As in real life, the better you are at banging the ball in the back of the net, the bigger the club requiring your services will be. There’s even wannabe WAGs on your case.
If you just want to score goals without all the hassle, the maker of Jumpers for Goalposts also runs a simpler version of the game called Volley Challenge. It’s a bit clunky but there’s still a certain amount of satisfaction to be gleaned from seeing the net bulge. If you’ve ever fancied yourself as the next Sky Andrew or Paul Stretford, you’ll love Football Agent. You click on a player as their value rises and sell them before it starts falling. Fairly basic stuff but surprisingly compelling.
On a slightly more leftfield tip, Goal Street somehow manages to combine breakdance moves and scoring goals, and Bumperball is a bizarre combination of footy and bumper cars. Just don’t blame us if you get the sack.
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